tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57724221244790115232023-11-15T10:51:15.518-08:00Apropos of NothingNickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-26447501331261941642016-07-31T01:06:00.001-07:002016-07-31T01:06:03.616-07:00Launch/capture<p dir="ltr">There is something. Something indescribable. Ineffable. Shifting and morphing and beautiful. Burning with the sunsets of Miami, 80s. Synths blazing. Purple. Deeeeeep purple. And blue, and orange, and of course pink, and it's gone.</p>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-41110083851536103362015-06-23T22:37:00.001-07:002015-06-23T22:37:12.629-07:00<p dir="ltr">"Just one, they don't come by til 5 for dinner," I said to no one in particular. We took out the plastic wine glasses and asked the man at the front desk to borrow his scissors and cut the straw for you to drink with your head on the pillow. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Steve took out his spare shirt and held it to the smoke detector as we lit a cigarette. "They didn't have Peter Jackson, I hope this is OK." </p>
<p dir="ltr"> Your sunken eyes smiled as much as they could, and we drank and laughed for a while. None of us had anywhere else to be so we stayed for dinner. The orderlies didn't mention the smell as they came to fetch the trays, so we had another after your pil.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Steve lent me his jacket when I got cold and I fell asleep, listening to the crackle of your breath, shallow and tired. I woke up in the dark, trying to squint through the dark. Steve and Sharon had each taken a side of the love seat near the door. I sat up and listened, and closed my eyes again, smaller than I'd ever been.</p>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-73693539356143736082013-06-28T22:56:00.002-07:002013-06-29T02:16:25.688-07:00Skip<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis skipped down the street that evening, as he often did
on Friday evenings, hoping, wishing, calculating for a chance encounter with a
beautiful stranger who would ask: “Why are you skipping?” He had rehearsed the
answer in his head hundreds of times, anticipating every possible interaction
that could arise. But this woman, this imaginary perfection, would not really
care <i>why</i> he was skipping. She would
appreciate the fact that he was skipping simply because he wanted to. She would
see that he skipped only for the sake of the joy that comes of skipping. She
would take the skipping as a glib act of joyful irreverence, a childish yet
charming way of pulling everything he could out of life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He skipped, passing couples and dog-walkers and people
carrying grocery bags. None of them, it seemed, took any interest in his
display of free spirit. That was just the type of person his personal rebellion
was aimed at: stodgy, pent-up and anal-retentive people, self-involved, jaded
conformists leading their scripted lives. It was a rebellion he thought a lot
about, a rebellion he felt was much-needed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis crossed Melrose, then Elm, then Avenue, hopping
lightly at red lights before resuming his bouncy trajectory. The patrons at the
diner sitting in the window turned their heads as he went by, and he felt them
frowning in bewilderment long after he’d passed them. He relished the feeling.
The thought that he was the subject of bewilderment was heartening, pushed him
on. He smiled, and his smile, he realized, would only serve to support his idea
of himself as a happy-go-lucky eccentric. He was larger than life. He was a
force of nature. He was a fine example of a life well lived. He felt that he
was of another world, a kind of savior to these miserable, trudging mortals.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then she said it: “Why are you skipping?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis was bobbing up and down at a traffic light, resentfully
watching a limousine as it turned onto Richardson. He was still smiling, but he
had forgotten why. This made his grin look alien and something like demented.
He didn’t realize that his face was still distorted when he looked at who had
asked the question.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She was shorter than he had expected, and younger. When he
turned his head and looked down at her, he saw a child, no older than fourteen,
looking up at him. She was wearing a plaid skirt, down to the knees, socks
halfway up her calves, and a white blouse covered by a green jacket. Her big
blue eyes looked out of place. They looked like a fashion faux-pas with the
schoolgirl uniform she was wearing. The bright blue disks were trained on his
face, suddenly making him aware of the smile that had atrophied there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis immediately knew that his responses were useless. The
prepared answers he had written and re-written instantly became just a
collection of words, a script to a movie that would never be made.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I...” he began. He stopped the lazy hopping and ground his
heels into the sidewalk. “I dunno.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“’Cause you look silly,” said the girl.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Not everybody thinks so.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, I do.” The girl said this plainly, as though she had
won an argument, then turned her massive blue eyes forward, facing the opposite
side of the street. Lewis felt his face turn red. Who was this little girl to
stifle his evening of planned spontaneity?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You must skip sometimes,” he said. “Children skip all the
time.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The girl started crossing the street, the light having just
turned green. Lewis jogged to keep up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t you skip?” he asked lamely.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She kept walking South, away from his apartment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure I do. But I’m twelve. You’re, like, fifty.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis paused for a second, figuring some quick arithmetic in
his head.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m closer to your age than to fifty. I’m just twenty
eight.” They were halfway down the block now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do a lot of twenty-eight year olds skip down the street?”
she asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He felt odd now, vulnerable to a girl, not even a teenage
one. He knew that most people his age didn’t skip. That was exactly why he did.
But there was no way to explain that. Not to her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure they do. When they’re happy, when they want to feel
like a kid...” he fell silent, trying to think of other disingenuous reasons.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She stopped walking when she reached the bus stop and sat down
on the bench. He stopped, considered heading home. Then he sat down next to
her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” she said
offhandedly, like a coworker mentioning the weather.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, you started it. I’m trying to answer your question.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She turned her head towards the end of the street, away from
Lewis, scanning for a bus. There were none.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis shoved his hands into his pockets and tried to look
uninterested. This made him look like a repressed pedophile struggling to
restrain himself. Anger crept into him. How could he be humiliated by a child?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I skip because it’s fun!” he blurted out. “It’s relaxing.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Just walking is more relaxing,” she said, without turning
her head. “Why don’t you just walk?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis frowned. “Well, why do people go jogging?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For exercise.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Maybe I’m skipping for exercise.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You told me you didn’t.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christ! Lewis thought. Why can’t she let up?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From her left stocking, the girl produced a cell phone and
proceeded to type into it very quickly. Lewis wondered what she was writing,
and to whom. He became acutely aware of the compromising appearance he was
projecting to passersby: a twenty-eight-year-old man, sitting and conversing
with a twelve-year-old girl.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I guess...” he said, after the girl had slipped the phone
back, “I guess I’m trying to find someone.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The girl turned to him and furrowed her brow. “You need to
skip to find people?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,” he said, slowly. He didn’t know where he was going. He
was feeling his way through the unfamiliar, murky waters of honesty. “It makes
me different. It makes me special.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The girl looked at him inquisitively.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Skipping is special?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It is when you’re twenty-eight.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Everybody’s got something special,” she said. He thought
that she sounded like a tiny Mr. Rogers. He felt like a child again, and this
girl had expanded into motherhood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s not really true,” he said at last.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, how many people would sit down and talk with a
twelve-year-old?” said the girl.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He thought for a moment, then offered, “I only talk to the
wise twelve-year-olds.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He heard the bus brake at the light, half a block away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s special,” she said, getting up. Lewis followed suit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So...” he said. “I skip because I don’t feel anything else about
me is interesting.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bus was pulling up at the stop now, and passengers were
getting off, pushing through the line of people waiting to get on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re just as interesting as anybody else.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The girl didn’t say goodbye. Lewis watched her pull out a
bus pass from her right stocking and get on, and saw her sit down at the back,
putting on her headphones.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lewis walked home. His mind was enveloped by the little girl
and what she had said. The same couples and dog-walkers and grocery bag
carriers were on the sidewalks, but he no longer saw them as lofty and bourgeois. They were no more special than him.
They were real and flawed and lovable. They were all special, and not a single
one had to skip to prove it.</div>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-13501320479156395952013-06-22T10:57:00.002-07:002013-06-22T10:58:32.436-07:00Digging Out<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The streets were white, cars snug under a flowing blanket of snow. The diffused light made for a matte, surreal effect of the snow, where outlines couldn’t be seen through te eddies of snowflakes, which hurried up and down the street, whipping pedestrians, their faces buried in their scarves. Tires spinning were the only sound that could be heard. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-35c045a9-6d08-7038-1698-8a4ef4cb9213" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James walked outside, holding a shovel. He was wearing snow pants and a parka, mittens and a flapped-ear hat. His face was barely visible. He scanned the street, his shovel like a staff beside him.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He walked towards the closest stranded car, waved at the driver then cleared a path out to the street. Then he walked to the back of the car and pushed it out after three or four basculations, and gave a little salute when the driver honked appreciatively.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This little cycle of his repeated itself for two hours. Wave, dig, push, salute. Wave, dig, push, salute. Wave, dig, push, salute. He was sweating under the parka now.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The drivers were always very kind and would try to give him money, which he would refuse. Gifts, though, were graciously accepted. One driver tossed a beer from the window on his way out, and another gave the man a half-pack of cigarettes. These garnered the drivers a longer, more formal salute. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Around noon, the man brought out a folding chair and installed it in front of the building. He drank his beer and smoked a cigarette for lunch. He watched the cars make it up the hill with difficulty. One car came around the corner too fast, and lost any grip that it had had on the road. It slid into the sidewalk in an action movie parking job, and the sheepish looking driver looked relieved at there not having been a car in that spot.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After his beer was done, he threw out the can and waved, dug, pushed, saluted a few more cars out.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was around 3. The street was quiet now, but for the slushy sounds of tires through the road. No spinning wheels or shouts of instruction.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then two men came down from the man’s building. He watched as they got in a black transit van and, just like the others, struggled to get the car out of its parking spot.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Wave.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The driver got out. He was a tall man, with striking, hawk-like features and small, squinted eyes. “Thanks a lot man. This snow’s awful, eh?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Sure is.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Jeff! Get out here and help!”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff got out of the passenger’s seat holding a flimsy collapsible pink shovel.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I was just looking for a proper shovel, man,” he said as he shut the car door. “This is gonna break in two seconds.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dig.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The van was blocked by a particularly large snowbank, and it was getting warmer, which meant that shoveling the snow became harder and harder as the light fluff turned wet and clay-like. Jeff had been right, the little pink shovel broke at the neck within a minute. He used the blade to fling snow from the street to the sidewalk, bending down each time, like a child destroying sandcastles. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Dude I don’t mind shoveling if you want,” said the driver, whose name turned out to be Gord. He explained: “Gordon. Like the gin! You want some gin?” Gord pulled out a bottle of gin from under the driver’s seat. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They all took a swig, then planted the bottle in the snow. Jeff and Gord were kicking at the snowbank while the man shoveled.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Sorry, man, I don’t think I got your name,” said Jeff, kicking a chunk of snow into the street.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“James. Like the bourbon,” said the man, to the confusion of the two men.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You know, Jim. Like Jim Beam.” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The two men smiled. Gord said, as he pulled his wet foot out of the snow.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The snow had got heavier, and the swirling flakes were closer to raindrops.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Push.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord had suggested a break before pushing the van out. He opened the back, rummaged through his bag and brought out a joint. The three men piled into the van and sat on blankets, leaning against the sidewalls, legs stretched out in front of them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“So you just, like, spend your free time out front of your building pushing cars?” asked Jeff.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I don’t know whether that’s retarded or heroic.” Said Gord.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I dunno. It kills the time.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I never got that expression,” said Gord. “I never want to kill time. I’ll spend it. I have to spend it. I might as well spend it well, not kill it.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff turned his head to look at Gord. “Dude you kill tons of time. You watched the whole series of Star Trek movies in a row like three days ago.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Yeah ‘cause they’re awesome, said Gord. That’s not a waste of time. Have you ever watched ‘The Wrath of Khan,’ Mr. Beam?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It’s James.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I kind of like Mr. Beam, and to be fair, Jim, it’s your own damn fault.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I guess.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The smoke filled the van. James hadn’t smoked in years, and he felt light-headed and distant. He closed his eyes and felt the wind rock the van gently back and forth. His arms and legs were tired from the shoveling. His body seemed to sink and sway, his mind far removed from the van and the snow and Jeff and Gord and shovels and snow banks. He heard them talking, but through a filter, as though he were listening to a videotape of an old family reunion. The white noise of cars going by through the snow began to sound like waves crashing on a beach, and suddenly James and Jeff and Gord weren’t in a van on a snowy street on a snowy day. They were sitting on lawn chairs on a beach, with sun and sand and boats operated by shirtless dark-skinned men.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Beam. Beam, you good? He must’ve fallen asleep. YO! BEAM!”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James woke to Jeff shaking him by the shoulders and handing him the bottle of gin. James took it and tipped some into his mouth.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“So where are you guys going?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff exhaled the last smoke of the joint and looked around for something to put the butt in. His eyes were squinted despite the lack of light. James handed him the bottle of gin, but instead of taking it, Jeff dropped the butt into the neck.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Aw that was stupid,” Jeff said when he realized the bottle still had about two inches of gin in it. Gord laughed.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“So where are you guys going?” James repeated.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord said “We dunno, we just figured we’d drive around.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Good day to drive around.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It’s more exciting when the weather’s bad.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There was what seemed like a long silence.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff fiddled with his coat, which was draped over his legs. He was latching and unlatching a strap on the sleeve. “I dunno man we have a lot of free time now.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Why’s that?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Why’s what?” asked Jeff.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Why do you have a lot of free time now?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Oh yeah. Well I’m unemployed now.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Sorry to hear that.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord was staring out the back of the van. Without turning his head, he said, “Yeah, it’s been a rough winter.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Everybody goes through rough patches, huh.” said James. Gord and James looked like children owning up to breaking a lamp or tearing a couch. Another silence.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I guess,” Jeff said after a moment, “I guess we’re just trying to stay moving.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“That’s good,” said James, without meaning it.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It’s been a rough winter,” echoed Jeff. “I got out of rehab like two weeks ago.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“What for?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“What does anybody go to rehab for?” James felt Jeff shoot a look at him.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I dunno. Drugs, booze...”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord answered. “Drugs.” He was looking at James’ face now. “He’s clean three weeks and counting.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Grats.” Said James.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Yup.” Jeff was slouching, looking at his legs, stretched out in front of him.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You two live together?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff said, “Yeah, now. I used to have a place below the canal, but I couldn’t afford it without...” He stopped himself short.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Drug money.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You make it sound like I was a prostitute, Gord.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I didn’t think you were a prostitute, man.”said James. “Everybody has stuff.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Stuff.” Jeff was rubbing his coat pocket.”All I did was deliver. Stuff.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James watched as Jeff nudged Gord with his knee, as a sign to stop the conversation.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Jeff here used to cycle downtown to deliver coke for the bikers.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Gord, come on.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“What?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You don’t have to tell everybody.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James kept his eyes on Gord.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James tried to steer the conversation away from Jeff. “So what do you do, Gord?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Call centers.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“All of them?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff chuckled.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“One in Place Desjardins downtown,” said Gord. “Warranty support.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You like it?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It pays the bills. The van is a thirsty mother.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“So where are you guys going with it today?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord reached into the front of the van and tilted a toboggan into view.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“We’re gonna go have some fun. Just sick of sitting and thinking I guess. We’re gonna find a hill and slide down it.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Sounds like a plan.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Better than usual,” admitted Jeff.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord’s eyes narrowed at Jeff, “You have plans, but what do you do with them? Nothing. You’re gonna be a firefighter. You’re gonna be a machinist. You’re gonna learn to play the guitar. You’re gonna, gonna, gonna, but you never </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">do</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I do stuff.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Like what? You don’t even do dishes.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m getting back on the horse, you callous bastard.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You’ve been getting back on the horse for-”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As James listened, he decided that a drink would lighten the mood. He tipped the bottle of gin into his mouth, and felt the cigarette but that Jeff had dumped into the bottle fall onto his tongue. When he realized what he’d done, he grimaced, then spit it out onto the van’s floor.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff and Gord burst out laughing. Gord slapped James’s shoulder and yelled a bit too loud: “We have a winner!”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James spluttered “I have to go, man.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord smiled and pointed a thumb outside at the snow. “More people to rescue, eh?”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m not rescuing anybody.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Sure gave </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">us</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> a hand, Beam.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff said “Yeah, man. Thank you.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Still have to get you on the road.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gord tucked the bottle of gin into a side compartment of the van. “Come on bro let’s push this bad boy out.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Salute.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The shoveling had done the trick. It took one big push administered by Jeff and James, and the van was free. Gord got out.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You’re a godsend, bud.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“No worries.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jeff took a large joint out of his pocket and handed it to James, who cupped it in his big mittens.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“There man. Don’t smoke it all at once, it’s potent.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Thanks.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Alright Beam, take it easy,” said Gord. He and Jeff got in the car and gave a quick honk. James stood in the street and clicked his heels and held his head high in his most formal salute.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After the van was out of sight, James sat back in his chair and watched the cars go by, spinning their wheels up the hill. He watched a middle-aged man with thick-rimmed glasses struggle to get out of his driveway. He watched a teenager alternate, backwards, forwards, trying to get the car in motion.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He lit the joint and brought it to his mouth. Deep inhale. He closed his eyes. Children were playing. The shirtless dark-skinned men were yelling and brandishing nets in which they had caught several brightly-colored tropical fish. The wind carried the ocean spray to his face, cooling him against the hot sun. Waves were breaking in slow motion onto the beach, and a thought swam through him, that he was just where he needed to be.</span></div>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-86929806166488314032013-06-11T11:58:00.000-07:002013-06-11T12:00:40.771-07:00Diner<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The diner was so quiet before Nat
unlocked the doors that you could hear the heater in the coffee machine when it
would buzz on and off. When it was clear, the early sunlight would spill in
through the front windows, over the chairs, which were still upside down on the
tables, and onto the old-timey linoleum floor. The air would still smell faintly
of toast and bacon, as though it were giving a subtle overture to a symphony.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When he got in at five, Fred put
on a pot of coffee, then swept and mopped the floors. After that, he sat at the
long counter and watched the sun come up until Nat got there. Nat counted the
cash while Fred wiped down the tables and set them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“There’s eight dollars missing,”
said Nat from behind the counter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I didn’t close last night,” said
Fred without looking up from his work. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I swear I’m gonna buy cameras
for this place.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“It was probably a mistake, Amanda
wouldn’t steal anything. Remember the time she found that man’s wallet?
Wouldn’t even take a twenty as a reward.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
There was a knock on the glass.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Dave’s outside,” said Fred. Nat
threw him the keys and started counting again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Damn it’s cold outside,” Dave
said, walking in the door. “I’ll bet it’s minus twenty.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Said minus eight on the radio,”
said Nat. “That’s not too cold.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Dave pulled a stool off the
counter and sat down. “Anything ready back there?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“We can make you some toast and
coffee. Stoves aren’t on yet.” said Nat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Well they should be. It’s
six-fifteen already.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred looked at the clock on the
wall. It was quarter to six. In the kitchen, the cooks were taking things out
of the fridge and placing them on the counter, ready for the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Actually, it’s quarter to,” said
Nat. “You can have some toast and coffee.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Just the coffee, then. You get
the paper, Fred?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“It’s on the counter.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Dave grabbed the newspaper next
to him. “So it is, Freddy boy.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
From six to seven, there were
hardly any customers. A few office workers getting coffee before going to work,
two men coming off the night shift on security at the parking lot, and a couple
late-nighters. The late-nighters walked in, eyes glued open, and spoke very
quickly. One was short and tan, with a faux-hawk and eyeliner on. The other was
regular build, dressed all in white. His long hair was dirty and looked wet. They
sat near the wall at the back of the diner, and took a long time to decide. When
they motioned to Fred that they were ready, they ordered from the lunch menu.
“Lunch starts at eleven,” Fred said. Both of them looked at their watches. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“We’re going to need another
minute,” the short one said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred attended two other tables
then came back to them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“How’re the pancakes?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“They’re good. Come with real
maple syrup.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
They looked back at the menu.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“And the waffles?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Good. Come with the syrup too.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred saw Nat watching them from
the cash.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Alright,” said the tall one.
“I’ll have a western omelet.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“And I’ll have the steak and
eggs.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“We don’t have any steak today.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The short one rolled his eyes and
slapped the menu onto the table. The tall one was looking out the window.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Well then I’ll just have the
eggs, huh?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“How d’you like them?” asked Fred</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Over-easy. No... Sunny.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You mean sunny-side up?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You want toast with that?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh you have toast? It’s not on
the lunch menu?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You can have toast or
hash-browns.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Gimme the hash-browns.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred picked up the menus and
walked to the counter to put in the order. He opened them up to put them into
the holder, and found a wet piece gum inside one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Kids,” Nat said to Fred. “Staying
up all night is bad for ‘em.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Dave looked up from the paper. He
straightened his back, puffing his belly out. “They’re probably on drugs,” he
said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Maybe,” said Fred, using a
napkin to get the gum off the menu.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The order for the late-nighters
came out, and Fred brought the plates to the table, along with ketchup and a
refill of coffee. They didn’t say anything when the plates arrived.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
After seven, more customers
started coming in: retired couples who came in every other day, young couples
who made awkward conversation and left quickly, and some regulars, who all sat
at the counter, talking to Nat. Dave was telling them that the two kids by the
wall were strung out on something. “Wouldn’t get too close to those two.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred was polishing cutlery and
watching them from behind the counter. They leaned over their plates, but
didn’t eat much. Every so often, they’d look up at each other and smile or give
a little laugh. They touched each other’s arms. Fred turned to the kitchen and
smiled while he put the cutlery into the tray.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Nat and Dave and the other
regulars were glancing over at them every so often and talking quietly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“... touching like gays.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“... wife never touches you like
that.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Laughter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“When was the last time you
even...”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Why, just last week, this pretty
little thing...”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred went to the table and asked
if they were done. They looked startled to see him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Yes,” said the tall on with the wet
hair. “Thanks.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred cleared the table and
brought the bill, which he left between the salt shaker and the ketchup.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
He said hello to Amanda as she
walked in the door and to the counter. She squeezed his shoulder as she went
by. She smelled like watermelon today.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Hi Nat. Hi Dave. Hi guys.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Amanda, the cash was short again
today,” said Nat before she had a chance to walk around the counter for her
paycheck.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred watched him from the table
he was setting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Sorry, Nat. I must have
miscounted it. I can give you the eight dollars.“</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I’m sick of telling you,
Amanda.” Nat had both his hands on edge the counter and his eyes were fixed on
the cash in front of him. “If you can’t count, that’s a big goddamn problem.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I can count, Nat, I just-“</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I don’t want to hear it. You
fuck up the cash every fucking week. I could hire an eight year old to do your
job.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Amanda opened her mouth, as
though to say something, but closed it again before saying anything. Her eyes
were wet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“What? What are you going to
say?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred walked up to Nat. Nat stood
straight and faced him. Nat looked very small next to him, and his grey hair
hardly reached Fred’s nose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Come on, Nat, she made a
mistake. You make them too when you count the cash.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Nat was almost shaking from
anger. “Stay out of this. It’s my restaurant. I’ll handle it the way I like.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Amanda was crying hard now. She
took eight dollars from her purse and put it on the counter before running out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred pushed the eight dollars to Nat. “Happy
now?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The regulars sitting at the
counter weren’t talking any more. Dave was watching the arts and life section
intently, and the others were pushing around their hash browns around their
plates or looking at their coffee.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When Fred turned back to see his tables, the
two late-nighters had left.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Where did those two kids go?”
said Nat, trying to put things back to normal. “They didn’t pay yet.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred checked the washrooms, which
were empty, then ran outside to the street. The customers inside watched
through the window, one or two even got up to see if anything would happen.
There were businessmen, couples strolling down to the Old Port, and bike
couriers all along the street. The late-nighters were gone. Fred walked back
inside, and the diners seemed disappointed as they turned back to their food.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Could tell soon as they walked
in that they were no good,” said Nat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Probably on drugs, those two,”
repeated Dave. “Did you see the thin one’s hair? Greasy as your onion rings,
Nat.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The other regulars gave a
chuckle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred went to clean the late-nighters’
table. There, under the ketchup, were two crisp twenty dollar bills, enough to
cover the 23 dollar bill and leave a hefty tip. Fred smiled and put the forty
dollars on the counter as he walked by.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Nat looked confused. He looked at
the table, then at Fred, then back at the money. He took it and put it in the
cash.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred waited tables until 3. Nat
took the afternoon off. His daughter was going to the dentist’s. After 3, Fred
sat at the counter and talked to Amanda, who came in at 2. She still smelled of
watermelon. Her hair was loose, the way it was when Nat didn’t tell her to tie
it up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
He watched her until six. They
talked about the weather, her boyfriend, her apartment. They stopped talking
after a while. He just watched. Every time she put the money into the cash, she
would keep a dollar or two in her hand and put it in her apron. At one point,
she took a twenty from the cash and stuffed it in her pocket. She didn’t see
Fred looking at her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next day, Fred came in early.
He swept and mopped the floors, then sat at the counter to watch the sun rise. It
was overcast, so he watched the sky turn from dark purple to gray. At
five-thirty, Nat came in and counted the cash.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Twenty-fucking-four dollars
short today. I can’t fucking believe it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Fred kept on setting the tables.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I didn’t close last night.” </div>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-69019188278395946912013-06-04T21:10:00.001-07:002013-06-04T21:10:19.690-07:00Even Still<p dir=ltr>I hate the expression "even still." </p>
<p dir=ltr>Even so. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Still. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Pick one. </p>
<p dir=ltr>They are what you want to say. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Stop making more letters and stop making me squirm.</p>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-82617626986673594592013-05-31T09:05:00.000-07:002013-06-11T12:01:04.437-07:00This Town<br />
<div style="border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
What do
they say in movies when they’re in situations like this? There’s like an inner
monologue throughout. Huh. Guess it’s a lot like this. Now, what what what what
what do I do? It’s dark, dark enough. It’s pitch black. No it’s not, it’s the
city. Streetlamps. Everywhere, streetlamps lighting the streets. Where are
there no streetlamps? The country. I don’t have a car. No can do. Nonono.
Industrial neighbourhood. Streetlamps, but nobody to watch. But the cameras.
Just go. Do it. Just do it. I’m in a fucking Nike commercial. Fuck. This is
serious, I shouldn’t joke. Shouldn’t joke. Somebody’s going to die. Sooomebody.
Here, boy. Soooooooomebody. Here, come here, boy. That would be easy, just to
lay out a tarp and strap them down. But I have to go out there. I have to bring
my knife. Oh shit, I only have kitchen knives. Shit. Well, there’s the
vegetable knife. There’s the cleaver. When did I get the cleaver? I never use
that thing. Focus. Fooocus. Be real, is it feasible. Do you want to get caught?
Yeah, that’s it. Talk to yourself in the second person. YOU are going to kill
somebody. Nono, YOU are going to KILL somebody. Tonight. In this city. In an
alley. A fucking alley! Why didn’t I think of that earlier? YOU. Why didn’t YOU
think of that earlier. Be detached. Deeetachment. Fooocus. Out the door. Don’t
forget the knife. In your jacket. There’s no room in this jacket. Fuuuck I
don’t want to use the winter coat, I’ll look like a murderer. YOU’ll look like
a murderer. Shit, you will be a murderer. Go for it. Play the part. What do
they say? Real killers don’t dress like killers. Nobody says that. Fuck. Ok,
right jacket, out the door. It wasn’t raining this afternoon. Better get an
umbrella. What the fuck are you saying? Umbrella? No killer uses umbrellas. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
MAN FOUND DEAD, UMBRELLA
THROUGH NECK</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
An unidentified man was found dead
early this morning at the corner of Mitchell St. and Stroud Ave. The man was
found behind a dumpster at 3:30 AM by passersby, walking home from a local bar.
The man was pronounced dead at the scene. Doctors say he suffered from multiple
stab-wounds and an umbrella lodged into the mouth, and through the trachea.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Inspector Morris, who believes
the murder was committed around midnight, has yet to identify a suspect. No
fingerprints were found on the umbrella, but Morris believes there to be a
second weapon with which the other stab-wounds were inflicted. The weapon has
yet to be found.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
The
victim is suspected to be homeless.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“JIMBO! Wait up, brah!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James stopped and swayed in
the street, squinting at oncoming traffic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim pulled him away as a GARDA
van sped past them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“You’re drunk, man, how you
getting home?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James patted his pockets
lazily and said “how bout we walk?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim took a swig of the beer in
his hand, and dropped the empty can into a car window left open on the street.
He took a moment to laugh at what he’d done.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Shit, man, okay. But I’m
staying over. I’m not paying for a cab this time of night.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“For sure.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim and James walked their zig-zag
pattern through the streets, daring traffic to hit them and women to come home
with them. At Truro Street, James stopped to relieve himself on a wall. Tim took
this opportunity to try tying James’s shoelaces together, but James lost his balance
and kicked him in the face as he stumbled backwards. Both of them were sprawled
out on the street.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Fuck, man,” Tim said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James looked at his bloody
palms. They were covered in loose pavement and blood. Tim had his hand up to
his face, blood leaking through his fingers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Fuck <i>you,</i> man. That was retarded. What were you trying to do?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim leaned to one side and spat
out more blood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James got up and said, less
enthusiastically this time, “Fuck you, man.” Then he offered his hand to Tim
and hoisted him up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“You should get that looked
at, man. I think I hit you pretty hard.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“No shit.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
They walked in silence for the
next few blocks, both of them sobering up and resenting the hard, dirty
sidewalks and dark, quiet alleyways more and more. The city at night took on a fragile
decrepitude, which both of them felt but neither expressed. This was a place
friendships could break and people could break and everything was broken and
goddamnit there must be something beautiful here. But they just walked, past
all of this, Tim clutching his face and James thinking, “Can you get rabies
from scraped hands?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
The rain started suddenly, and
the smell of wet cement started seeping up out of the cracks, into the air.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“I always feel cleaner after
it rains,” offered James.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim grunted and spat a wad of
blood out. It twisted and turned in the rainwater before being sucked in by the
gutter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“I need to take a piss. Hold
on,” Tim said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James stood on the end of the
alley, having given himself the duty of lookout in case someone were to walk by
and notice his friend standing next to the dumpster. No one was out, but he
felt his duty was a favour to Tim. This would fix what had happened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCK WHAT THE
FUCK?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James spun around to see Tim
sprinting towards him. Terrified, James started running too. Tim had snapped.
He had had enough of pretending he wasn’t mad and was going to kill him. He was
going to slam James onto the ground and beat the life out of him. James ran as
fast as he could away from his crazed psychopath friend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“HELP! HEEEEELP!” screamed
James. But he knew there was no one to hear him. He had been keeping a lookout.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“FUUUUUUCK!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“HEEEEEEELP!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“GODDAMMIT STOP,” yelled Tim</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James stopped and turned to
Tim, panting, “What was that?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim sat down on the ground, no
longer holding his face, dripping blood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Some guy.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James looked confused, “Some
guy?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Yeah some fucking guy.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James bent over, put his hands
on his knees and laughed. “Oh fuck man I thought you were crazy. I was running
away from <i>you</i>. Some dude was there?
Doing what?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim cleared his throat of
blood and phlegm and spat it out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“No, man. Some dude was dead.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James looked up at Tim, who
was holding his face again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Are you sure he was dead?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim coughed, then said “The
dude had a fucking umbrella in his neck, I’m pretty fucking sure.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
James took the flask out of
his pocket and slid it to Tim. Tim picked it up, took a swig and spit it out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“FUCK. That shit burns.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Sorry man. I didn’t mean to
hurt you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim sat immobile for a while,
letting the rain stream down his neck and face, down his shirt and under his
belt. James put his hand on Tim’s back.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Come on, man. What are we
gonna do?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim looked at his blood flowing
into a sewer grate. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
They’ll find me. They’ll think
I killed him. All this DNA at the scene. Fuck, I practically pissed on the guy.
Can they tell who you are if you pissed on a man? My blood’s all over the place.
What can I do about the blood? It’s raining, it’ll wash away. Maybe if I go buy
some bleach. No, there’s no place that sells bleach at this hour. What am I
saying? That’s what a killer would do, is bleach this place, destroy the evidence
and everything. I’m not a killer. I’m no killer. I didn’t kill a man. Shit, I
got kicked in the face tonight when I was trying to play a joke! Cops would buy
that, right? I would buy that if I were a cop. I would totally buy that. Then
why did you piss on a dude? Fuck. I pissed on a dead dude. I’m gonna go to
prison or go to hell or... fuck. You didn’t see him. You didn’t see him until
it was too late. It’s dark, it’s an easy mistake to make, isn’t it? The cops
won’t see it that way. They’ll see it as desecrating a dead body. You’re
basically a necrophile with a piss fetish. Shit, you are scum. You’re in for it
now. No you’re not. Leave. That’s right! They don’t have you in that database!
Do they have a database? How do cops find people with fingerprints? It must be
even easier when you have somebody’s DNA. If they get your DNA. They’ll
probably just think that it’s all his blood and they won’t even realize you
pissed on a dead guy. It’s raining. It’s raining. Fuck I wish I had an
umbrella.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Tim
looked up: “Is there a payphone near your place?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Inspector Morris looked at his
clock-radio. 4:17. The phone was ringing. He cringed at his own breath as he
sighed and picked up the phone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Hello?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He listened for a while.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Alright.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Another while.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“I don’t know. Twen – Thirty minutes.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He hung up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
The room was dark, like a
black velvet curtain had dropped onto the stage. He lifted himself up heavily.
His body was weak and it felt like a bag of cement was strung to his neck. After
rummaging in his bedside drawer, he found the bottle of cheap brandy he had
left and poured himself a tall one. He drank three large gulps before realizing
that he had used the glass as an ashtray the night before. He held the brandy
in his mouth for a moment, then swallowed it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He got dressed without turning
the lights on: jeans, the cleaner of his two dress shirts, jacket, wallet,
badge, keys, phone. Cigarettes. He pulled one out and out it between his lips
before stepping out the door and into the tan Plymouth Voyager.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
As he pulled into the alley,
only the beat cop acknowledged him and pointed him to a spot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Can’t ID him, no wallet, no
cards, no nothing,” said the beat cop, walking to the van.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“What’s he look like?” asked
Morris.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Not good.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
The beat cop led Morris to the
dumpster.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Christ,” said Morris.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Yeah, pretty grizzly.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“No, it’s a goddamn hobo! Why
the hell would I get out of bed at 4AM for a hobo who probably got shanked in
the neck with an umbrella by another hobo who wanted his motherfucking shopping
cart to wheel around three dollars’ worth of cans?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Morris rubbed his forehead.
The headache was only getting worse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“I gotta radio somebody,” he
muttered, turning to his van.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He reached under the driver’s
seat and pulled out his son’s sippy cup. He was glad to have filled that
instead of the flask. That would have looked too obvious. He put the bendy
straw between his lips and sucked on the brandy. It burned his throat, like swallowing
a pack of razorblades and a bag of salt, but it would help his headache.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He walked back out to the body</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Take a couple pictures. Write
up a report, ‘Male, ID unknown, dead presumed murdered...’”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
As he turned around, he saw a Channel
15 news truck pull up. Out spilled the cameraman, as talkative as a bag of wet
mice, the sound recordist, whose face cried out for a fist, and the reporter.
Her short skirt rode up when she hopped out of the truck. Her legs were smooth
and porcelain white. She looked at Morris before tugging her skirt back down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Nobody say anything. I got
this.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
She made sure the camera was
pointed at her, and as soon as she got close, she hollered: “Inspector Morris!
Can you tell me what happened here?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“It’s not very exciting.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“It’s a murder? Sounds pretty
dreary,” she said, smiling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Can’t say that yet. You know
the rules.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Who’s the poor man?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
”We don’t know who he is, yet,”
said Morris.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“So it <i>is</i> a he.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Shit, stupid mistake.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Can’t confirm or deny it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“Is it this man?” she asked,
holding up a tiny photograph. He leaned in, squinting. She seemed to pull the
photograph further and further away, closer to her face. He saw her lips out of
the corner of his eyes. As his gaze turned to her, he saw the cameraman jogging
towards the dumpster.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“HEY. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED IN
HERE!” Morris saw that the reporter smile.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
After a moment of indecision, the
two officers grabbed the cameraman by the armpits and carried him back to the
van as he started to vomit, narrowly missing his own camera, which dropped to
the pavement, bouncing and rolling back towards the dumpster.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Morris grabbed the reporter’s
arm: “You want this? Fine. A man, homeless, dead behind a dumpster. Fuck, I
dunno, he must’ve died at midnight.” Morris turned around and walked back to
the van. He called out to the officers: “Boys, just file it. It’s same-old.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He took another sip from the
bright orange and green sippy cup as he left and shivered. He felt around for his
coat in the back seat and put it on. He reached into the pocket for a
cigarette, but he had left them in his other jacket. He swore quietly and
wished he’d brought an umbrella.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
“I swear this town could kill
a man.”</div>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-15221121523983819702013-05-13T21:54:00.000-07:002013-05-13T21:54:01.908-07:00SlamIn a way, it's reassuring to see the level of talent of the storytellers. In a way, it makes me feel better about the way I write and the content and the symbols I use. In a way I see myself as a more talented creator.<br />
<br />
But I've never <i>told</i> stories. I've written them. I've thought them out. I've found metaphors and similes and turns of phrases. I've picked apart and deconstructed and dissembled reality until I understood it, then pieced it together so it would make sense to me.<br />
<br />
But I've never <i>told</i> a story. I've never held in my hand a reality and shown it, like a picked flower, to my friends. I've never told a narrative with any weight or conviction. I have only seen from afar and reported in more words than were needed.<br />
<br />
They tell stories. Silly stories, true stories, clear fiction and muddled truth, the now and the then, the flawed and the perfect. It doesn't matter what they tell. Not to them. And as I furrow deeper into the world of story, not to me. It's art, and it holds value because they say it does. And my stories have value if I say they do. And I can write what I think is important and what I think is art, but its value only exists if I am behind what I create.<br />
<br />
They create wonderful things and I can hum and haw and poke holes in their delivery and their content and their presumption that anyone would want to hear them. I can prop up a false ego with wisps of superiority, or I can embrace a world carried by the cautions thrown to the wind, a new world of creation and exploration. I can stand still and be sure not to fall or I can run and <i>slam</i> face-first into walls until I find a direction that I love.<br />
<br />
So I'm reassured by the level of talent. They are the runners in a race I want to run. They won't drag me from the stands. They won't beg me to run.<br />
<br />
But I can run.<br />
<br />
And I know I can run well.NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-23598957535618276592013-01-20T22:44:00.000-08:002013-01-20T22:44:24.761-08:00Rain<div dir="ltr">
This time last year, I was living in London, in a little apartment in Islington with two students from Winnipeg. I wasn't a student, and I worked mainly night shifts at the pub. I didn't see either of them very often. That suited me fine. Why would I come to London to spend all my time with Canadians? I wanted to experience a Londoner's London. I wanted to mingle. I had been cultivating a London accent, which I thought was quite good until the girls at the pub told me that it sounded ridiculous. I dropped the accent after that.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Most days I would go to the Angel's Deli downstairs for a coffee and one of the day-old muffins, which were half-price. The owner's name was actually Angelo, but the sign painter was, according to Angelo, a "Damn foreign Turk." Angelo says that he keeps meaning to change the sign, but he doesn't want to spend the money. I think he's come to like being called Angel. His son was at the counter most of the time. I think his name was Nardo, but it may just have been short for Bernardo. We never did become great friends.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I always carried a little notebook with me in case a phrase caught my eye or a situation struck me as particularly ripe. I thought of myself as a writer, but to be a writer, one has to write, and my notebook was filled mainly with doodles. Angel's I was just finishing a rather elaborate ink drawing of Toucan Sam when I realized the rain had started. Huge drops landing with distinguishable pops pummeled the pavement, and gusting winds changed the direction of the rain alternately horizontal and vertical. Suddenly, there was no one in the street. The boy behind the counter was staring out the window as though the apocalypse was upon Cross Street, clicking his tongue and letting out a whistle.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I went back to putting the finishing touches on Toucan Sam, when I heard the boy behind the bar take a quick breath and swear in Italian. When I looked up, he was craning his neck to see something apparently just out of his line of sight. I got up and stuffed my notebook in my pocket.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
"What happened?" I asked him.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
"I just saw this bloody kid almost get killed on his bike," he answered, nodding towards a boy who was struggling to get up under the weight of a huge waterlogged knapsack. His bike was wedged between a Transit van with its 4-way flashers on and the edge of the sidewalk. The van's passenger's head poked out of the window and asked something. The kid didn't seem to notice. He was shaky on his feet</div>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-73490163806814615112013-01-13T10:57:00.001-08:002013-01-13T11:00:25.065-08:00Lucid Hibernation<p dir=ltr>Sparse and stark is life alone, doubly so in winter. <br>
And apartments take on haunting, lonely, loathsome coldness when the one colour outside is white <br>
and the one sound heard is car tires crunching through the white snowy roads <br>
and the one smell smelled is the gas from a burnt out pilot light. </p>
<p dir=ltr>And the thoughts inevitably thought are those of past and failure. <br>
The two collide, <br>
often violently, <br>
and the wreckage spills <br>
to every corner of the mind. <br>
Little licks of shameful flame <br>
torch every last ambition that had been laying <br>
dormant.</p>
NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-7826286260333740322013-01-04T15:45:00.001-08:002013-01-04T15:48:29.206-08:00Apropos of the Squalid LifeI lived by myself in this apartment for about a year before She moved in.<br />
<br />
We had been dating, we had been sleeping in the same bed, for a long time, though. I always relished the opportunity to stay at her place. It was always so <i>clean</i>. It was so tidy, the bed always made, never any clothes on the ground, all her DVDs stacked tidily on shelves behind her, well, massive television. She had a balcony that gave onto a tennis club, so the water drop sound of tennis balls was another source of comfort, along with what seemed to be the Friday night Barbara Streisand cover night.<br />
<br />
I enjoyed it there. I enjoyed the company of her sister, with whom she lived, and the company of her sister's boyfriend, who moved in afterwards. We laughed and we spoke to each other freely and happily. And far be it from me to say that the sister made a mistake, but she decided it would be a good idea to make an escape down to Venezuela with her man, as he was looking for proper work in the SCUBA diving industry. Her sister was fine; leaving like that is a great adventure, and had I the balls, I'd do the same. However, She had a little less in the way of adventure.<br />
<br />
Her options were essentially stay in Montreal, and deal with the language barrier, or go back to your parents' place in Toronto. Oh yes, and I imagine my being in Montreal made a difference. Since, apart from anything else, I had an inexpensive apartment, which was relatively close to her old apartment and her places of employment, and damned close to everything you would need. Namely, the liquor store. Which, in retrospect, may partly have been the cause of her taking on a half-bottle-a-night habit. Which was really not so bad, but helped me to downplay my bottle-and-a-half-a-night-plus-whatever-I-could-afford-from the liquor-store habit.<br />
<br />
I imagine you can guess that she <i>did </i>stay in Montreal, with a moving day fit for the best of them. I had to get rid of my couches, which were brown leather abominations, 2 and 3 seaters with footrests so loose that they would spring out at you as soon as a sneeze rang out. Eventually, though, the suede sectional we had bought together was all in, and both my bed and my couch were gone.<br />
<br />
Which makes this next part a touch more interesting.<br />
<br />
She left.<br />
<br />
Well, she <i>was</i> leaving, unless I wouldn't mind having her as a roommate.<br />
<br />
Well, she was <i>going</i> to leave, but she hadn't found a place, would I mind helping the woman I still loved find a place?<br />
<br />
Oh, look at that, there's an apartment just three blocks away!<br />
<br />
Oh, would you look at that, she left her Facebook profile on on my computer.<br />
<br />
Well certainly this Favid Deddock couldn't be big enough of an asshole to sleep with her in the back of his tour van!<br />
<br />
Well certainly she wouldn't make plans to see him while we were still living together?<br />
<br />
It was at this point in my reasoning that I was struck with the idea of finishing her packing, and conveniently placing her things quite close to the door. On the other side of it.<br />
<br />
I didn't speak to her for 2 days following that, except for a terse message explaining why I was being such a prick.<br />
<br />
And then we started talking again. There was suddenly a lot to say, and a lot to be interested by. We talked about work and interests and problems in our relationship. Intermittently, I had the feeling of throwing the fodder of emotion into a fruitless, self-extinguishing fire. So I (rather suddenly) concluded that it would be better for both parties to stop being succubi to each other.<br />
<br />
And that's about when the squalor started. While we were speaking, I was unstoppably tidy, I was annoyingly clean and exercised, stayed away from alcohol for the most part. I was reformed.<br />
<br />
But fuck did it ever go wrong after that.<br />
<br />
3 months. I calculated it. 3 months of not doing dishes or laundry or dusting or sweeping of wiping or mopping.It was bad, but it didn't seem that bad: a little slump, a small misstep. Until I went to see my friend D, whose apartment is always spotless, and his girlfriend constantly cleaning. And I passed out there after a few drinks. I should say that I was also on blood thinners, which seem to work with alcohol as a very effective soporific. But I passed out. At 9 O'Clock. I woke up in the morning feeling very woozy. I made it home via metro, though, and dropped into the depanneur to buy a can of chicken soup. It seemed like a good idea at the time.<br />
<br />
I get home and seemingly for the first time, I see the dirt and shameful conditions I've been living in: the counters are covered with old tomato sauce, bread crumbs, pieces of cookies and all the garbage that didn't fit into the bin. .The living room, which I never go into usually, is littered with paper bags and Styrofoam containers from delivery food. The bedroom is covered in clothes, dirty and clean. My office is no longer an office but a deeply filthy guest room wherein I was the guest. I had been sleeping on that couch, which, although it was a hide-a-bed, I had slept on as a slightly-smaller-than-me couch, flinging the aforementioned delivery food containers across the the room at the office chair.<br />
<br />
I heated the soup by rinsing a small pot that had been holding a mushroom soup for long enough that it had turned rancid, then transferred it to my last clean bowl and ate. I took it to the living room, decided I was too hung over to watch anything. As a great surprise to me, I started sobbing, and all I could think of was: "I'm living in squalor. This is squalor. Squalor is the only thing I can do, and truly the only thing I can do."<br />
<br />
And for three days after that, of which the details I will contain, I was quite sick. By the third day, I was mobile enough to clean the floor next to my bed of the vomit which I had expelled.<br />
<br />
It was a great week.<br />
<br />
The next day (as in the day after I cleaned the vomit I deposited on my own floor) I cleaned my apartment mercilessly. And thus was halted, seemingly, the squalor which has prompted this blog.<br />
<br />
Still sick, I washed all the dishes, wiped all the surfaces, cleaned the toilet (which gets extremely dirty when you're bulimic) as well as the sink, then filled two garbage bags with my laundry.<br />
<br />
Afterwards, four of those same garbage bags were used to cleanse my apartment of both recycling and garbage. Many trips later, after lemon-scented and honestly entirely too efficient all-purpose cleaner, all was well.<br />
<br />
And then for 3 days I cleaned regularly enough that it seemed permanent. Why do they not tell you that it is never permanent? It's always squalor, just held at bay.NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772422124479011523.post-89515596294707539732013-01-04T12:02:00.001-08:002013-01-04T15:48:20.625-08:00That Inevitable CrisisSo far, in my rather short history of often disappointing romantic endeavors, I've found one aspect of ending relationships (among many) to be constant. Some days, weeks, or months following a relationship shifting from romantic to decidedly hostile, there will inevitably occur one or more crises for one or more parties involved, causing a rethinking of one's feelings towards the other person.<br />
<br />
Now, I'm not implying that these crises are caused by the relationship. Far from it. In fact, if the problem had arisen from one's ex-lover, the problem I am about to describe would be easy to solve: simply blame the other party and redirect your frustration towards the idiot who is, even beyond the romantic grave, tampering with your life. These problems must be unrelated to the relationship. They must be independent of the ex-lover. They must be a health problem, (barring STI's, of course,) they must be a pet dog being run over by a neighbor's Toyota Yaris, they must be a family falling-out over Thanksgiving holidays, culminating in a short but heated argument between Aunt Holly and your dad Phil about why they didn't choose her as a Godparent, followed immediately by her saying that she never wanted to be your stupid Godparent anyhow. In short, they must be impossible to blame on the ex-partner. Because, let's look it in the face, if I had any reason to blame an ex for anything, I would.<br />
<br />
But these crises are crucial. These crises are genesis for a true reevaluation of oneself following a rupture of romance. They are what separate the men from the boys, the women from the girls, and the foolhardy from the phlegmatic.<br />
<br />
Why do I say this? Because I've often thought of myself as a very phlegmatic sort of man. I am generally calm and collected and I like to think that I don't rush in where angels fear to tread.<br />
<br />
<br />
But god damn do I ever disappoint myself in times of crisis.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
At the first sign of anything in my personal life going wrong, I buckle under the (all too commonly nonexistent) pressure of the issue and revert to a former state of using a lover as a crutch. I won't speak to my sister, father, mother, and friends about the trepidation that overcomes me, but I am absolutely loose-lipped to women who have betrayed my confidence or whose confidence I've betrayed. I favor a person I've wronged and pushed away to one I've wronged and has stayed with me. There have been moments when I reject my sister's calls when I know all she cares about is my well-being, immediately after which I call a girl who lied and cheated, and didn't bat an eye before discarding me. It is an inner struggle, which I lose all too often. But sometimes I win. Sometimes I keep my composure long enough to realize what and whom I really want in my life.<br />
<br />
And to my credit (or to others' discredit) I'm not the only one to do this. I'm also the recipient of these phone calls and sideways attempts at redemption. "My brother is a delinquent, he's tearing my family apart" or "my dog just had kidney failure, she can't use her hind legs," or even "my heating is off, and my landlord won't turn it back on until I pay for rent." These are all legitimate problems, totally impossible to be connected to me, and yet why, <i>why</i> am I the one to receive phone calls and e-mails about them?<br />
<br />
I put forward this theory: simple addiction, coupled with self-destructive tendencies and/or a skewing of reality.<br />
<br />
The causes of the situations which throw us back into the reluctant arms (more realistically, ears) of our former sweethearts would have occurred without them. However, <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201012/the-thoroughly-modern-guide-breakups">this</a> article in Psychology Today states that we are all addicts, to some degree, immediately following a breakup. When we are faced with crises within relationships, (of course, I can only speak from personal and anecdotal evidence,) we are rewarded with caresses, comforting phrases and a chance at good, old-fashioned, mind-relieving sex.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, this doesn't account for the crises. Why does it seem that these earth-shaking crises are always put to us fairly soon after a break-up? According to my theory, there are two main reasons:<br />
<br />
1. Self-destructive behaviour: With regards to health problems and interpersonal problems, the person whose problem it is is often to blame. The same idea is applicable to personal financial problems and, to some extent, psychological problems.<br />
<br />
2. Skewed interpretation of reality: This goes hand in hand with the idea of addiction. An addict of heavy painkillers will often overstate a minor injury to, say, a leg, in order to justify their need for hardcore opiates. Parallel to that is the idea of recent bachelors overstating (often to themselves) the magnitude of their perceived emergency.<br />
<br />
Indeed, I did say that the reaction to these situations defines the man, woman, and fool. And I maintain that. I think that in a perfect world, people could disassociate themselves from past lovers and that esteem of one's own control over one's life would be unaffected by those that have whored around.<br />
<br />
<br />
But god damn do I ever disappoint myself in times of crisis.NickMathewsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294940495040903755noreply@blogger.com0